


we get lost and we get found

by SJAandDWfan



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Fake Dating, canon until 2x15 then i pick and choose the canon cause why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 06:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14611941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SJAandDWfan/pseuds/SJAandDWfan
Summary: And even though Toni's still not sure about this plan (ostensibly because of Cheryl's safety and not at all because of how Toni loses her breath whenever she's in close proximity to Cheryl) she can't argue with the determined look in Cheryl's eyes. She recognises that look; it's the look of a person who's just realized they're not as trapped as they once thought."Okay," Toni says, and Cheryl lights up. "I'll pretend to be your girlfriend to get back at your mother."*or, a fake dating fic because you can pry this trope from my cold dead hands





	we get lost and we get found

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i've been working on this on and off around my end of year assessments for a few weeks now and i'm so relieved it's finally done! 
> 
> title from "fear nothing" because the riverdale version is on a playlist i have named "trash" and that is wholeheartedly who i am.
> 
> also we're being fed scraps at the moment so idk here's some tropey goodness, enjoy!

“Ugh, she’s a nightmare,” Toni scowls, watching Penelope Blossom’s retreating back. She doesn’t close the door behind her, and all the warmth in the room vanishes with her. Toni turns to Cheryl, who’s watching the open door with an almost bored expression. 

“Isn’t she, though?” Cheryl agrees, glancing at Toni before rolling her eyes at her mother’s dramatics. 

This is the first time Toni’s met Cheryl’s mom, and now she gets it. She’d believed the things Cheryl had told her about the one and only Penelope Blossom, of course, but a part of her hadn’t fully understood how dire of a situation her new friend was in until just now. 

“I don’t think anyone’s mother has tried to eviscerate me like that with just a look,” Toni comments. “At least not before they find out I’m in a gang.” 

“I wouldn’t take it personally,” Cheryl sighs, crossing the room to sit on her lavish bed. “To her, you’re encouraging my deviant tendencies.” 

“She knows I’m your friend, right?” 

“Doesn’t stop her from being suspicious,” Cheryl shrugs. “Mother may have walked in on a completely innocent scene, but her brain will already be in overdrive.” 

Right. A completely innocent scene. 

Innocent like Cheryl’s soft, almost flirty comments about the way Toni dresses. Innocent like Cheryl getting closer as Toni reaches out to run her fingers over the fabric of the see-through blouse Cheryl wants to lend her. Innocent like Toni feeling the need to jump back from Cheryl when the door is flung open like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t. 

“Your mother thinks there’s something more going on?” Toni asks instead, pushing away thoughts of butterflies in her stomach as she remembers the way her eyes had dropped to focus on cherry red lips. 

Cheryl looks amused. “Probably.” 

“It might finish her off,” Toni jokes, and Cheryl suddenly gets a look in her eye. 

A look like she’s had an idea.

“It might,” she murmurs thoughtfully. 

“Cheryl…” 

“Fake date me?” Cheryl asks suddenly. Toni’s eyes widen. 

“Excuse me?” She manages. Cheryl’s looking at her with bright eyes, and Toni can almost see the cogs turning in her brain. 

“What better way than to show my mother she has no control over me?” Cheryl says, a smile stretching her lips. “She already thinks there’s something going on, so it wouldn’t be hard to convince her you’re more than a friend.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Toni asks. Cheryl’s face falls, and Toni rushes to explain. “I just mean, are you sure it’s a safe idea? I don’t want you to put yourself in danger just to spite your mother.” 

Chery’s expression softens. “My mother may be an awful person, but I don’t think she has it in her to actually harm me – at least more than she already does,” she reassures Toni. “More likely, this will infuriate her, knowing she’s lost her power. That I’m not scared anymore.” 

And even though Toni’s still not sure about this plan (ostensibly because of Cheryl’s safety and not at all because of how Toni loses her breath whenever she’s in close proximity to Cheryl) she can’t argue with the determined look in Cheryl’s eyes. She recognises that look; it’s the look of a person who’s just realized they’re not as trapped as they once thought. 

“Okay,” Toni says, and Cheryl lights up. “I’ll pretend to be your girlfriend to get back at your mother.” 

“You’re the best,” Cheryl squeals, getting up and hugging Toni quickly. Toni barely has time to register the embrace before Cheryl’s pulling away. “Okay, we _must_ sort out our backstory.” 

Toni snorts. “Cheryl, I doubt she’s going to invite me to tea and ask us how we got together.” 

“One can never be too prepared,” Cheryl tells her, retrieving a piece of paper and a fountain pen from her desk. “So, who made the first move?” 

Toni wants to laugh at the absurdity of it all; of Cheryl’s genuine concentration as she holds the pen above the paper, thinking hard. 

“I did,” Toni says instead. “I… took you to Pop’s for burgers and milkshakes, and then when you walked me to my motorcycle, I kissed you goodnight.” 

Cheryl looks up to meet her eyes, and Toni feels her cheeks burn. 

“You were instantly won over by my charms, of course,” she continues quickly, “and then we started dating.” 

“Good backstory,” Cheryl comments, scribbling it down on the paper. Toni shrugs, deciding not to tell Cheryl that was what she’d planned to do one day, when she was sure Cheryl liked her back. Right now, she’s only about ten percent sure, so this hypothetical first kiss had still been a long way off in her mind. 

“So, how does this work?” Toni asks. “Do I come over more often? Be all hearteyes around you in front of your mother?” 

“Pretty much,” Cheryl says. 

“What if she finds out we’re pretending?” Toni asks, still concerned about Cheryl’s safety throughout this plan of hers. “It might get back to her through someone else.” 

Cheryl bites her lip thoughtfully, and Toni tries and fails at not staring. 

“Then I guess it’s not just my mother we’re going to have to fool,” Cheryl decides. 

“You want to keep it up in front of everyone?” Toni asks. “Do you think you’re ready for that? I don’t want to push you to come out at school or anything.”

Cheryl smiles. “Toni, the only thing keeping me from coming out at school is my mother, and how she made me feel about my sexuality. But you made me see how wrong she is, and I don’t want to hide anymore.” 

Toni’s heart almost bursts with pride at how far Cheryl’s come in such a short space of time. It makes her wonder if Cheryl would have stood up to her mother sooner if someone before her had shown genuine concern and interest in Cheryl’s home life rather than writing her off as a heartless bitch. 

But she can’t think about that without getting mad, so she pushes those thoughts away and focuses on the girl in front of her. 

“Okay then, _babe_ ,” she says, drawing out the pet name and trying to ignore how nice it feels to call Cheryl that. “Let’s go join your family for this will-reading before your mother thinks we’re sinning up here.” 

She winks at Cheryl, who lets out a breathless little laugh, and Toni thinks maybe she’s imagining the tinge of red in Cheryl’s cheeks as she hands over the almost-forgotten blouse.

She hopes she isn’t imagining it. 

*****

Cheryl slips her hand into Toni’s at the will-reading, and for a moment, Toni forgets about their plan. All she can think about is Cheryl’s impossibly soft skin against her own, and the sad look on her face as they listen to Clifford Blossom’s will being read aloud. 

Toni gives her a small half-smile, trying to quietly reassure Cheryl that everything will be fine, even as she catches Penelope watching them out of the corner of her eye. Good. Let her watch. That is the intent after all, Toni reminds herself quickly, to irritate Cheryl’s mom. None of this is real. 

But Toni looks back to Cheryl, who meets her eyes somewhat shyly as Toni’s thumb strokes the back of her hand, and for a split-second, she lets herself believe. 

*****

Of course, it’s not long after that everything goes to shit, as is often the case in a town like Riverdale, and Claudius Blossom appears in the middle of Cheryl’s speech. Supposedly, he’s Clifford’s twin that hardly anybody seems to have heard of before, but Toni doesn’t trust him. She doesn’t trust most of Cheryl’s family, to be honest. 

Clifford was a murderous monster, Penelope is perhaps the worst mother in the world, Claudius is strange at best and downright creepy at worst, and Jason is dead by the hands of his own father anyway. The only one Toni has yet to get a proper read on is Nana Rose, but Cheryl loves her and at the moment, that’s good enough for Toni.

Despite not trusting him, Toni can’t help but choke on her food at Claudius’ ‘Lesbos’ comment. She has no idea if it was intentional, but the joke works wonders for Penelope’s already-short temper. Toni can practically feel the daggers that Cheryl’s mother is shooting at the rest of them. 

She lightly knocks her foot against Cheryl’s under the table, giving her a cheery smile that makes the corners of Cheryl’s lips twitch upwards. It’s as close to a genuine smile as Toni has seen since the start of the will-reading, and she’ll take it. 

Eventually, Toni has to leave, and she squashes down her worries about leaving Cheryl with her mother. 

“I’ll be fine, Toni,” Cheryl whispers as they stand by the front door of Thistlehouse. 

Toni shrugs her Serpents jacket on, scooping her hair out from underneath the collar. “I know, but I still worry about you.” 

Cheryl’s eyes soften almost imperceptibly. “You’re sweet.” 

Toni spots Penelope hovering behind Cheryl. “Sweet on _you_ ,” she bats her eyelashes exaggeratedly, taking a step closer to Cheryl. 

Luckily, Cheryl catches on. She reaches out to play with a particularly pink strand of Toni’s hair, curling it around her finger almost reverently. Toni meets her gaze, and she can tell Cheryl doesn’t quite know what to do. 

“I’m still wearing your blouse,” Toni says, giving her something to respond to, at least. 

“Keep it,” Cheryl smiles, eyes dropping to the garment. “It looks better on you anyway.” 

It’s such a cheesy line, but somehow Cheryl makes it work, and Toni feels restless under her eyes. “Impossible, but thank you, Cher.” 

The nickname rolls off her tongue without hesitation, and Cheryl’s smile widens. Toni’s distracted, so much so that she doesn’t register Cheryl’s proximity until she feels lips against her cheek. 

Cheryl lingers a moment, and Toni’s eyes close involuntarily, revelling in the soft press of Cheryl Blossom’s kiss. She feels pathetic with the way her skin tingles even after Cheryl’s pulled away, and now it’s Toni who’s floundering. 

“Goodnight,” Cheryl whispers, eyes roaming freely around Toni’s face. Toni fights the urge to put up her walls, but that would give the game away. 

Instead, she squeezes Cheryl’s hands and makes her promise to text later, slipping out of the door and towards her motorcycle. She lets out a shuddering breath. 

Fake dating Cheryl is going to be even harder than she’d imagined. 

*****

“You’re sure?” Toni asks, and Cheryl rolls her eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure,” she replies, grabbing Toni’s hand and interlacing their fingers. “I was sure the first twenty times you asked.” 

“Just checking,” Toni mumbles, staring up at the front doors of Riverdale High with a certain amount of trepidation. This is, after all, Cheryl’s coming out. 

Technically, it’s _their_ coming out, as a couple, but Toni’s doing her absolute best to separate reality from fiction. Them as a couple; that’s fiction. But Cheryl’s coming out? 

That’s one hundred percent real. 

“I’m glad I’m not doing this alone,” Cheryl says quietly, and Toni thinks she must’ve misheard her. 

She turns to Cheryl, who gives her a half-smile before tugging slightly on their joined hands, leading the way into school.

People stare, because of course they do. Besides, Cheryl seemingly makes it a point for people to stare at her no matter what she’s doing, and strolling hand in hand down the halls with Toni is apparently no exception. 

Toni can hear excited whispers as they pass; catches snippets of conversations here and there. She’s sure the rumor mill is already buzzing. Gossip spreads fast around Riverdale, after all. And Cheryl has always been one of the main subjects of gossip, between her position as HBIC of the River Vixens, and Jason’s murder. And now Cheryl’s ‘dating’ a Serpent, not to mention said Serpent being a girl. Toni doesn’t know how Cheryl copes.

They find a spot in the lounge, sitting next to each other on a couch. Toni drapes an arm over the back, behind Cheryl’s head. Cheryl absently plays with the fingers of her other hand as she spots Veronica and Archie walk through the door. Veronica clocks them immediately, and Toni isn’t surprised at the way her eyes light up. Archie frowns at them, although Toni suspects it’s more out of confusion than anything else.

“So,” Veronica starts, sinking into an armchair across from Cheryl and Toni. She leans forwards, elbows on her knees and hands cupping her chin. Her eyes dart between them. “Spill.” 

“As I’m sure hasn’t escaped your keen notice, Toni and I are in a relationship,” Cheryl says, only somewhat sarcastically, and Veronica rolls her eyes. 

“I can see that, Cheryl. I’m asking for the where, when and how,” Veronica grins like she can’t believe this is happening. “I knew it was only a matter of time.” 

“What?” Toni’s floored. Not only does Veronica believe their fake relationship without a shadow of a doubt, she’s claiming to have seen said relationship coming. 

“The looks, the tension, the fact that Toni was at the will-reading—” Veronica waves a dismissive hand at Cheryl and Toni’s confused looks. “—Betty told me. Anyway, I need details.” 

Toni raises her eyebrows and looks to Archie, who shrugs. 

“Well, Toni and I had been hanging out at Pop’s a lot,” Cheryl begins. That part, for the record, is true. Most days, they had met up for milkshakes, talking about everything and nothing. Not only had Cheryl opened up to Toni, but Toni had done the same, telling Cheryl about her parents’ abandonment, and her uncle’s mood swings. She’d told Cheryl things only Sweet Pea and Fangs know, after only a few weeks of knowing her. 

Toni looks over to Cheryl, who is essentially telling the short version of that story, and it makes Toni smile that apart from the last bit of it, their story is actually legit. Cheryl meets her gaze then, and Toni can’t help but squeeze Cheryl’s hand, not bothering to mask what she’s sure is an expression of open adoration.

“One day last week, I walked Toni to her motorcycle,” Cheryl continues the story, only now veering into their cover. “Something was different that night. I wasn’t sure what exactly, until Toni kissed me.” 

Veronica’s grin is dangerously close to splitting her face.

“She was so nervous,” Cheryl adds, and Toni frowns in indignation. 

“Was not,” she grumbles, and Cheryl gives her a look. 

“Babe, I was half convinced you were going to run away without saying anything, motorcycle be damned,” Cheryl says, and Toni can see a hint of a smirk on her face. 

Toni raises a challenging eyebrow. So this is how Cheryl wants to sell it. Fine. Two can play at that game. She subtly moves a hand to rest on Cheryl’s thigh. 

“At least I wasn’t the one who moaned—" 

“I think that’s enough sharing for today,” Cheryl interrupts her, and Toni smirks in victory. Veronica is silently beside herself, looking between Cheryl and Toni like her birthday and Christmas have all come at once. 

“I’m happy for you guys,” Archie says simply, and Toni sees Cheryl give him a genuine smile. 

“Thanks, Archie,” she says softly, legitimately touched, and Toni rubs her thumb along Cheryl’s leg in support. 

“So am I,” Veronica declares. “I seriously doubt anyone will give you any crap, but don’t hesitate to point them my way if they do.” 

“Veronica, I’m in a gang,” Toni says dryly, and Veronica shrugs.

“Offer still stands.” 

*****

Sweet Pea and Fangs, as it turns out, aren’t as thrilled about Toni’s relationship with Cheryl. They aren’t, after all, the Blossoms’ biggest fans. Sweet Pea frowns when he sees their joined hands as they walk to where Toni’s motorcycle is parked, and Toni rolls her eyes. 

“Whatever you’re about to say, think it over,” Toni warns him, not unkindly. 

Sweat Pea glances to Cheryl, then back to Toni. “Your life, Topaz,” he says eventually. “I’m only trying to look out for you.” 

“I know,” Toni says, her grip tightening on Cheryl’s hand. “So trust me on this. Cheryl’s not like them, and she deserves a chance to prove that, don’t you think?” 

Fangs, who stands at Sweet Pea’s shoulder, gives Cheryl a piercing look (Toni can feel Cheryl holding her breath) before his face relaxes into an easy smile. 

“Welcome to the family, then,” he says, and Cheryl’s breath rushes out all at once, relieved. 

Sweet Pea says nothing, but he nods sagely at Cheryl once. Toni can tell he wants to give her the shovel talk, though. With a last glance over his shoulder, he and Fangs depart, leaving Toni and Cheryl alone. 

As soon as they’re gone, Toni turns to Cheryl.

“I’m sorry about them,” she grimaces. “They’re overprotective.”

“They’re just looking out for their sister Serpent,” Cheryl shrugs. “I understand.” 

“They’ll grow to love you,” Toni promises, and Cheryl gives her a wry smile. 

“And wouldn’t that be a change.” 

Toni doesn’t quite know what to say to that, at least not without giving away her real feelings, so she settles for handing Cheryl the spare motorcycle helmet she’d borrowed until she has enough spare cash to buy one. 

Cheryl stares at the helmet, eyes wide. 

“You want me to ride that death trap with you?” Her voice wavers. 

“I’ll go slow,” Toni promises. “Besides, I can’t think of a better way to piss off your mom than have you turn up at Thistlehouse on the back of your girlfriend’s motorcycle.” 

Cheryl considers this for a moment. “My car—” 

“Can stay here overnight,” Toni suggests. “I’ll pick you up in the morning.” 

“Okay,” Cheryl agrees, after a long moment. “But if you kill us, I’m going to be very put out.” 

Toni laughs as Cheryl finally takes the proffered helmet, grimacing as she squashes it over her hair. “The mighty Cheryl Blossom, facing the prospect of helmet hair just for me.”

She can see Cheryl’s eye roll from behind the visor. “You’re a nerd.” 

“I’m the nerd you chose to fake date, remember?” Toni teases, and she manages to keep any traces of bitterness out of her voice. Fake dating Cheryl is better than nothing. 

She climbs aboard her motorcycle, waiting until Cheryl has settled behind her before she turns the key. 

“I’d hang on if I were you,” she shouts over the roar of the engine, and Cheryl’s arms immediately wrap around her waist. 

Trying not to let herself get carried away at the contact, Toni drives off. As they speed down the streets of Riverdale, Toni can feel Cheryl pressed tightly against her back, shielding herself from the wind behind Toni’s shorter frame, and it annoyingly gives her butterflies. 

Toni slows down once they arrive at Thistlehouse. The manor house appears to loom above them, almost menacingly. Toni knows it’s just a building, but it’s what’s inside the building that is apt to give nightmares. Or, rather, _who’s_ inside. 

She pulls up in by the front door and leaves the engine running for a few extra seconds to get Penelope’s attention, before switching it off. She hooks the kickstand with her foot as Cheryl swings her leg over and off the bike, following suit as she pulls off her helmet and shakes her hair loose. 

Cheryl’s hair is adorably messy when she removes her own helmet, and Toni finds herself reaching out to smooth down some of the more obvious flyaway hairs. She puts her helmet down on the seat of the motorcycle so she can use both hands, and Cheryl lets out an honest to God giggle as she does so. 

“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Toni smirks, lowering her hands once she’s done. 

“It’s still a death trap,” Cheryl says, as the front door opens behind her to reveal an irate Penelope Blossom. Toni gives her a little wave, and she visibly bristles in response.

“Yeah, but you love it really,” Toni says, turning her attention back to Cheryl. 

“I will neither confirm nor deny,” Cheryl says haughtily, ruining the effect by smiling not even a second later. She holds out the helmet back to Toni. “Here.” 

“Hold onto it,” Toni says, pushing it back towards her. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning anyway.” 

“Cheryl!” Penelope snaps from the door, and Cheryl rolls her eyes. 

“One minute, mother,” she drawls, just loud enough for Penelope to hear. 

“Cheryl Blossom, you get away from that monstrosity and over here, now,” Penelope insists. 

Toni gasps. “That’s no way to talk about my baby,” she murmurs, patting her motorcycle, and Cheryl stifles a laugh. 

“Now!” 

Toni can see the moment something inside Cheryl snaps. She gets this steely, determined look in her eyes, and she whispers something hurriedly to Toni before closing the distance between them. 

Toni just barely realizes she’s saying ‘trust me’ before Cheryl kisses her. 

Toni’s eyes close on instinct, and she kisses Cheryl back, because there’s no way in hell she’s going to pass up this opportunity. Cheryl kisses soft and fierce at the same time, and Toni’s already obsessed with it. Her hands cup Cheryl’s cheeks, and she feels Cheryl’s arms snake around her back, pulling her closer still. 

She doesn’t know how long the kiss actually lasts, but all to soon Cheryl is pulling away. Toni’s eyes stay closed for a moment after, selfishly savoring the moment, and when she opens them Cheryl is already staring back at her, wide-eyed. 

“I-I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says, unwinding her arms from around Toni’s waist and taking a step back. 

Toni nods mutely, not trusting that her voice won’t crack if she tries to speak, and Cheryl turns to see that Penelope is no longer at the door. And although Toni’s still on a high from the kiss, she’s not stupid.

Cheryl had only kissed her to get back at Penelope. And it had sparked something in Toni. Now there’s really no turning back and denying how she feels about Cheryl. 

As she watches Cheryl walk to her front door, Toni can’t help but get the feeling that she’s screwed in the worst possible way. 

*****

Toni’s just about to get ready for bed when her phone pings. Sighing, she reaches for it, wondering what mess Sweet Pea has gotten himself into this time. But the text isn’t from him. It’s from Cheryl. 

It’s not like they don’t text, but most of their conversations happen face to face, so receiving a random text before bed from Cheryl isn’t all that common. 

 _Sorry for the surprise attack earlier, I wasn’t thinking straight._

Ignoring the all-too-easy opportunity for a gay joke, Toni types out a reply. 

_Don’t worry about it, Cher. It’s all good._

She hits send, holding back what she wants to say. She wants to tell Cheryl never to apologize for kissing her, that she’d enjoyed it, that she wants to do it again. The ping of another text coming through pulls Toni from her thoughts. 

 _Still, I don’t want to overstep. Maybe tomorrow we should talk about boundaries and what we’re both comfortable with?_

Toni sighs. Despite the progress she’s made, Cheryl still appears to have the mindset that she’s a burden. That people don’t want her affection. Regardless of her own feelings towards Cheryl, Toni wants her to be able to love and give affection freely, without hesitation. But Cheryl is so used to being isolated, especially after Jason’s death, that she seems to think that’s the way it should be. 

Not if Toni has anything to do with it. 

 _I promise you didn’t overstep! But yeah, a proper convo sounds good. Night, Cher._

Toni changes into a t-shirt she’d stolen from Fangs and a pair of pyjama shorts and wanders off to the bathroom to brush her teeth. When she gets back, her phone has one more text from Cheryl. 

 _Goodnight, Toni. Sweet dreams x_

Toni stares at the message for what is probably a ridiculous amount of time, before plugging her phone in to charge and pulling back the covers of her bed. She settles on one side of the mattress, and Toni can’t help but feel she’s leaving space for someone. Of course, in her mind, she knows exactly who that someone would be. Rolling her eyes at herself, Toni tries to empty her mind, and eventually sleep claims her. 

*****

Toni has a sex dream about Cheryl that night, and wakes up aching and disorientated.

There’s no way around an explanation in her mind. She’d had a sex dream about one of her best friends, slash, fake girlfriend. And it had been a really vivid one, too. She sits up and runs her hands through her hair, exhaling slowly.

It occurs to Toni in that moment that she’s about to go and have a conversation with Cheryl about the damn boundaries of their fake relationship mere hours after she’d had a sex dream about her. The irony isn’t lost on her. 

She takes a colder shower than usual, because she absolutely refuses to get herself off thinking about Cheryl, and goes about her morning routine. She’d woken up a lot earlier than normal, and so she’s able to properly dry her hair before she leaves for Thistlehouse. 

Pushing all thoughts of her dream aside, Toni swings a leg over her motorcycle and the engine roars into life. She takes off, out of the trailer park and towards the Northside. Before Southside High shut down, Toni had barely been to the Northside; now she spends half her time there. At least she’s getting a better education out of it. And she’d met Cheryl, even if their first few interactions hadn’t been entirely positive. 

Toni pulls up in front of Thistlehouse, like she had done yesterday, and switches the engine off. Cheryl is probably still inside, so Toni removes her helmet and walks towards the front door. 

The door opens when she’s still a couple of feet away, and then Toni’s face to face with Penelope. Cheryl’s mother stares down her nose at Toni, features twisted in an expression of displeasure that Toni’s become used to. 

“Mrs Blossom,” Toni greets. “I’m here to—" 

“I want you to stay away from my daughter,” Penelope cuts her off coldly, and Toni’s taken aback, if not entirely surprised. 

“I’m not going to hurt her,” she promises, and Mrs Blossom rolls her eyes. 

“You’re already hurting her,” she tells Toni. “Encouraging this deviant behavior.” 

Toni sets her jaw. “Listen, Mrs Blossom. I know a homophobic old lady when I see one,” she says quietly. “You have to understand that the only one hurting Cheryl is you, and as someone who cares very deeply for your daughter, and is trying to encourage her to love herself for who she is, I can’t stand by and watch you tear her down.” 

Penelope draws herself to her full height, towering over Toni. “I don’t know who you think you are—” 

“Who I am is Cheryl’s girlfriend,” Toni snaps. “And I don’t really care if you like me or not, but I do care that Cheryl hurts because her mother doesn’t accept her. So, I am telling you now. Get with the program, because contrary to your belief, your daughter has done nothing wrong.” 

“What’s going on here?” Cheryl suddenly appears behind her mother, eyes wide and clutching the borrowed motorcycle helmet in one hand. 

“She was just leaving,” Penelope sneers coldly. 

“Let’s go, Toni,” Cheryl says hurriedly, picking up on the atmosphere. 

“What?” Penelope snaps. 

“I’m going with her, obviously,” Cheryl says, giving her mother a ‘duh’ expression. “She’s giving me a ride to school.” 

Penelope looks like she’s about to have an aneurysm, and Toni tries her best to keep a straight face at the way her eyes pop. Cheryl grabs Toni’s hand as she walks by, pulling her towards the motorcycle without a word. 

The drive to school is silent, barring the sound of the wind whipping around them and the sound of Toni’s bike as they drive. Cheryl leans her chin on Toni’s shoulder, taking more interest in their journey than she had the previous day, arms wrapped securely around her waist. Toni grits her teeth as images from last night flood her mind. She scolds herself mentally; now really isn’t the time. 

They hang back once they get to school. Most people are already inside, leaving the parking lot pretty empty. They dismount the bike, and Toni leans against it as she removes her helmet, Cheryl standing in front of her as she pats her own hair down.

“So,” Toni starts. “You wanted to talk about boundaries?” 

“Yes,” Cheryl takes a deep breath. “I know you said that me, you know, kissing you yesterday wasn’t a big deal or anything, but I just wanted to make sure I didn’t make you uncomfortable or anything because the last thing I want to do is—’ 

“Cheryl,” Toni interrupts, because she can tell Cheryl’s about to spiral. “I didn’t mind.” 

Cheryl stops in her tracks. “You didn’t?”

“I didn’t,” Toni confirms. “Besides, some PDA is to be expected from a relationship, even if this isn’t a real one.” 

Cheryl looks at her with an inscrutable expression on her face for a second, before it relaxes into something easier to read. Relief.

“And if you’re comfortable with it too, it’s something I’m okay with doing again in the future,” Toni continues, torn between wanting to protect herself, and selfishly wanting to kiss Cheryl again. 

Cheryl nods. “Yeah, that’s… that’s fine with me. To sell the relationship.” 

“And to piss off your mother.” 

“Right,” Cheryl smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I, um, I’m glad we had this talk.” 

“Me too,” Toni tries to give Cheryl a reassuring smile, but she’s not sure how it turns out. She hopes it doesn’t end up as a grimace. 

After a moment of silence, Cheryl holds out her hand for Toni to take. Toni laces their fingers together with damn butterflies in her stomach, and as they walk in the front doors only two minutes late, she’s left to wonder when she became such a fucking sap. 

*****

Weeks go by, and nothing really changes.

The gossip has calmed down even if Veronica still looks at them like they’re her babies or something, apparently Penelope still seethes every time she lays eyes on Cheryl, and Toni’s skin still tingles wherever Cheryl touches her. 

The one big difference is the touching. 

It’s not like they go from zero to making out everywhere, but Cheryl’s getting more comfortable with physical affection. This extends to things like Cheryl giving her a quick kiss before they part for class, or leaning into Toni on the couch in the lounge when they’re amongst friends. Toni’s finding it increasingly difficult to keep her feelings for Cheryl separate from this fake relationship. She knows that if she doesn’t, the only way this will end is with one or both of them getting hurt. 

They haven’t kissed in front of Penelope again, yet. Actually, despite spending more and more time at Thistlehouse, Toni barely sees Penelope around. She supposes it is a big house. At least Nana Rose seems to love her. 

She’s there now, at Thistlehouse, sitting on Cheryl’s bed while her fake girlfriend sorts through her wardrobe. It feels similar to the day of the will-reading, the day this had all begun, and Toni’s so lost in her memories that she doesn’t clock Cheryl brandishing a top in her face until the fabric is brushing against her nose. 

“Sorry, come again?” Toni says, automatically reaching out to take the garment from Cheryl’s outstretched hands. 

“I said, this would look good on you,” Cheryl repeats, as Toni looks down at the delicately detailed crop top. “Try it on if you want.” 

Toni looks at the crop top and shrugs. It does look pretty. She shuffles to the end of the bed and stands up, pulling off the shirt she’s already wearing. Cheryl, who had been buried back in her closet, turns around just as Toni’s tossing her shirt behind her somewhere on the floor. 

Cheryl’s about to say something, but all that comes out is a sort of strangled noise, and Toni realizes what she’s just done. Toni doesn’t know whether to apologize or make a joke; she’s still deciding between her two options when they hear footsteps approaching. Cheryl quickly crosses the room, awkwardness all but forgotten, and Toni knows that they both get the same idea at the same time.

Toni’s prepared this time when Cheryl kisses her, almost immediately running her fingers through Cheryl’s hair. Cheryl flails slightly for a second, hyper-aware of bare skin before her hands land on Toni’s waist, and Toni shivers involuntarily. She pulls and Cheryl pushes, and the next thing Toni knows, she’s lying on Cheryl’s bed in her bra and jeans with Cheryl on top of her, resting between her legs. They don’t break the kiss once. 

It feels like something out of a spy-based romantic comedy, Toni thinks. The two characters kissing to avoid blowing their cover as the enemy approaches. Her brain short-circuits, and she runs her tongue across Cheryl’s bottom lip. Cheryl gasps, opening her mouth against Toni’s as her hair falls around their faces, curtaining them. 

Toni’s short of breath, and she’s completely forgotten why they’d started making out in the first place because this is pretty much how that one sex dream had started, when the door bursts open and Penelope storms in without knocking, again. 

“What is – oh my God!” 

Cheryl pulls back from the kiss suddenly, and Toni thinks Cheryl must be a very good actress, because she looks genuinely shocked to see her mother standing stock-still in the doorway. Penelope stutters incoherently, rage in her eyes, and Toni wonders if they’ve perhaps pushed things a bit too far this time. 

“Ever heard of knocking, mother?” Cheryl’s voice wavers as she scrambles to get off of Toni. 

“Cheryl, I swear to God…” Penelope trails off, seething. 

“Mrs Blossom, I can—” 

“Get out of my house,” Penelope says to Toni, voice as cold as ice. 

Toni looks between Cheryl and her mother. Cheryl suddenly looks very small and fragile compared to Penelope. “I don’t think I should leave.” 

“Toni, it’s okay,” Cheryl says, and Toni looks at her in surprise. 

“Cher, I don’t want to leave you,” she says softly. She’s not sure if she’s imagining the potential danger, but she’s unwilling to just pick up her things and go. On the other hand, her presence might be making things worse.

“I’ll call you later,” Cheryl promises. “Right now I need to speak with mother, alone.”

Toni still has a bad feeling about this, but she grabs her shirt from the floor and pulls it over her head. Her Serpents jacket is hanging on Cheryl’s door and she scoops it up, giving one last, hard look at Penelope as she does so. 

Every step she takes away from Cheryl feels wrong, and she’s so overwhelmed by everything. Her feelings, the fake relationship, Cheryl on top of her, the look in Penelope’s eyes… but Cheryl wants to have this conversation alone, and she’s confident nothing bad will happen. Toni wants to respect Cheryl’s wishes, and she trusts Cheryl’s judgement, so she does leave. Reluctantly. 

Her head feels all over the place. 

She doesn’t realize she’s driving to Pop’s until she’s pulling up in the parking lot. It’s her and Cheryl’s safe place in her mind, and she guesses that in her haze she drove here on autopilot. Taking a deep breath, she steps inside, a little lost about what to do next. 

She spots Veronica out of the corner of her eye, alone in a booth with a plate of fries and her laptop in front of her. Toni bites her lip. Maybe she can talk to her about her worries. She makes a beeline for Veronica, and the girl lifts her head and smiles at Toni. 

“Can we talk?” Toni asks. 

Veronica’s brow furrows in confusion, but she nods, gesturing to the seat opposite her. Toni sits, leaning her elbows on the table as she runs her hands through her hair distractedly. 

“Toni, is everything okay?” Veronica asks, closing her laptop. She pushes the plate of fries into the middle of the table and Toni takes one, biting into it harder than necessary. “Where’s Cheryl?” 

“With her mom. Alone,” Toni says, and Veronica raises her eyebrows. 

“I’m guessing things aren’t great in that department,” she says.

Toni shakes her head. “She caught us making out on Cheryl’s bed and told me to leave. I only did because Cheryl wanted to talk one on one.”  

Veronica lets out a low whistle. “And you’re worried she’s not safe.”

“Exactly.”

“If she hasn’t called you by tonight, then I’d say you have cause for concern,” Veronica starts. “But Penelope isn’t stupid. I don’t think she’d do anything to Cheryl if it could be pinned back on her. Plus, I don’t think she’s capable of half the things Clifford was.” 

“Still,” Toni says. “It felt wrong to just leave her there.”

Veronica makes a sympathetic face. “If you need back-up, you can always count on me.” 

“Thanks,” Toni breathes, taking another fry. “I don’t know how willing a lot of the Serpents would be to help out a Blossom.” 

“So…” Veronica says after a few moments. “Caught making out on Cheryl’s bed, huh?”

It’s meant to be playful, but Toni’s mind immediately starts up a barrage of _not real not real not real not real not real_ and she doesn’t know how much more she can take. 

“Yeah, well, we planned to get caught so it seemed like the best option at the time,” Toni says quietly. “Though now I’m wondering if we went too far to get a rise out of her.” 

“What do you mean, you planned to get caught?” Veronica frowns in utter confusion, and Toni sees now that she’s said too much. 

Go big or go home, she reasons. 

“Okay, I’ll explain, but you can’t tell anyone,” she sighs. 

“Promise,” Veronica says quickly. 

“Cheryl asked me to fake date her to piss off her mom,” Toni starts, and Veronica’s eyes widen. “Here’s the entirely predictable twist; I have feelings for her, for real.” 

“Does Cheryl know?” 

Toni shakes her head. “I didn’t want to complicate anything.” 

“Seems pretty complicated to me,” Veronica admits. 

Toni lets out a humorless laugh. “Yeah. I was so caught up in my own selfish feelings that I didn’t see how bad of an idea being underneath Cheryl, half-dressed, in front of her homophobic mother would be.” 

Veronica opens her mouth and closes it a few times, and Toni doesn’t know whether she wants to laugh bitterly, or cry with relief at finally getting all this off her chest. It’s only been a matter of weeks, but it’s felt like a lifetime to Toni. Before she knows it, she’s spilling the entire story to Veronica.

“So now you know,” she finishes. 

“Okay, first of all,” Veronica starts after a long pause, having apparently gathered her thoughts. “You’re not selfish.” 

“What?”

“It was Cheryl’s idea to fake a relationship, she kissed you first, you’ve both been explicit with boundaries and the like,” Veronica says. “I don’t think you having feelings for her makes you selfish.” 

Toni’s not convinced, but she lets Veronica continue. 

“And, for what it’s worth, I don’t think your feelings are one-sided.” 

Toni’s taken aback. “I—what?” 

“Do you have any idea how much calmer Cheryl’s been since she got close to you?” Veronica asks. “How much happier?” 

“I can’t afford to think about that right now,” Toni protests, trying in vain to squash the hope rising within her. 

“You said it was her idea to pretend in front of everyone?” Veronica barrels over her. “Not just Mrs Blossom?”

“Well, yeah, we thought she might find out through someone else,” Toni shrugs. 

“Toni, Penelope Blossom doesn’t talk to anyone outside of her family,” Veronica says. “Unless Cheryl somehow forgot this, or she was just being super paranoid, that sounds like an excuse to act like a couple in public.” 

Toni sighs heavily. “However Cheryl may or may not feel about me doesn’t matter right now,” she says. “I just want to make sure she’s okay.” 

“I know,” Veronica says. “But, Toni, you’ve got to look out for yourself too.” 

“I’ve got the Serpents,” Toni says distractedly. 

“I meant emotionally…” Veronica trails off, but Toni ignores her, too jittery to focus.

“Thanks, Veronica,” Toni says finally. “For everything. I… I just want to head home for now, I think.” 

Her phone is almost dead and Toni doesn’t want to miss it if Cheryl calls. Veronica looks concerned, but she lets Toni go with a reassuring pat on the hand over the table. Toni manages a smile, feeling somewhat better for having gotten everything off her chest. 

She spends the ride to her trailer mulling over Veronica’s words; telling her that she wasn’t selfish, that Cheryl probably liked her back. She’s still not convinced, but she does feel a bit lighter. She’s probably overthinking the whole situation, anyway. Cheryl’s probably fine.

*****

Sometime in the evening, there’s a knock at her trailer door.

Toni frowns. It can’t be her uncle; he’s out of town. Her grandfather tends to stay in his own trailer, and Sweet Pea and Fangs always text before coming over. She gets up and moves cautiously towards the door, pulling it open.

Cheryl stands on the other side, arms wrapped around herself protectively and on the verge of tears. 

Toni flings the door open as Cheryl dives into her arms, clutching onto her shirt tightly as sobs begin to wrack her body. Toni strokes Cheryl’s hair, at a loss for words. All she knows is that she might just have to murder Penelope Blossom. 

Eventually, Toni gets Cheryl inside the trailer, and they sink down onto the couch together. Cheryl refuses to let go of Toni completely, and Toni doesn’t want her to anyway. She wraps an arm around Cheryl’s shoulders, and Cheryl leans into her body, tears beginning to subside.

“What happened?” Toni whispers. “Why didn’t you call? I would’ve picked you up.”

“Mother destroyed my phone in a fit of rage,” Cheryl sniffs. “God, Toni, the things she said…”

“Hey,” Toni says gently. “Whatever she said, she’s wrong.”

“She wanted to send me to boarding school,” Cheryl says, playing with the fingers of Toni’s free hand. “Far away from here.”

“Don’t go back to Thistlehouse, Cheryl,” Toni pleads quietly. “It’s not safe.” 

“I won’t,” Cheryl promises. “I left, and I ran here.” 

“You ran?” 

“Well,” Cheryl considers. “I ran for like, ten minutes, then my feet hurt so I walked the rest of it.”

“I’m not surprised, with those heels,” Toni comments, and Cheryl huffs out a laugh. 

“Fashion over function,” she says around a yawn. 

“You need to sleep,” Toni says, noting the way Cheryl’s eyes half-close as she gets more comfortable against her body. “Come on, I’ll lend you some pyjamas.”

*****

 

Cheryl looks adorable in slightly too-short sweatpants and one of Sweet Pea’s shirts. Toni realizes that she tends to steal a lot of clothes from her friends, as she pulls one of Fangs’ own shirts over her head.

“It’s not a silk nightgown, but it’ll have to do,” Toni says.

“I like it,” Cheryl says, as they slip under the covers of Toni’s bed. “Mother always bought them for me, anyway.” 

“What did she say, Cheryl?” Toni asks gently, and Cheryl worries her bottom lip with her teeth. 

“She rehashed the whole deviant thing, for starters,” she admits. “In addition to claiming I have no capacity for love. The usual.”

Yep. Toni is definitely going to have to murder Penelope Blossom. 

“Well, you can stay here as long as you want,” she tells Cheryl. “I just want to keep you away from that house.” 

“Thank you,” Cheryl whispers, shifting close enough that she can tuck herself into Toni’s body. 

Toni gulps. “Um, no problem.” 

Toni’s arms wrap themselves around Cheryl’s fragile body, mostly out of habit, and she hopes that Cheryl can’t feel how loudly her heart is beating in her chest.

“I’ll make it up to you one day,” Cheryl murmurs, and Toni can tell she’s drifting off.

“You being safe is enough,” Toni whispers, and Cheryl looks up to meet her gaze. “And your mom doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You’re sensational, remember?” 

For a moment, Toni thinks she imagines Cheryl’s eyes dropping to her lips. She blames it on Cheryl being so tired she can barely keep her eyes open, but then Cheryl is moving even closer. 

The brush of their lips together is soft; a pressure that’s so light it’s barely there. Cheryl pulls back slightly, her lips just barely parted, and a small frown creases her brow. Before Toni can question it, Cheryl’s kissing her again; firmer this time, and Toni’s eyes flutter closed as she sighs into the kiss.

Her heart rate increases, and there’s no way Cheryl can’t feel the thudding of it against Toni’s ribs, not with how close they are. Toni’s fingers clutch onto Cheryl, trying to convince herself that this is real. That it’s happening. This is the first time she and Cheryl have kissed without it being for the benefit of their fake relationship, and the only thing Toni can hear is the blood rushing in her own ears as Cheryl Blossom kisses her. It’s probably the softest kiss Toni has ever experienced. 

Cheryl’s kissing almost lazily, and Toni knows she must be tired, and emotional, so she reluctantly pulls back from her. She keeps her eyes closed for another few seconds, though, not wanting to break the spell they’ve cast just yet. 

When she opens them, Cheryl is already asleep in her arms. 

*****

Between the kiss, and Cheryl’s recent emotional scarring at the hands of her mother, Toni doesn’t sleep much that night. She lies awake, shifting onto her back and smiling at the way Cheryl follows, laying her head just under Toni’s chin. Her arm is slung across Toni’s stomach, and Toni strokes Cheryl’s hair with one hand; the other is interlocked with Cheryl’s. Their fingers are laced together, and Toni’s never felt more protective over anything. 

She watches the door, ears straining for any hint of an ambush. She’s not sure if Penelope knows where she is, or if she cares enough to track Cheryl down, but she doesn’t want to risk it. Besides, Toni reasons, she doesn’t think she’d be able to sleep anyway. Not with her mind racing the way it is. 

They’d both been so blasé at the start of this fake relationship; not thinking of any possible ramifications. But Toni remembers expressing concern for Cheryl’s safety even back then. _I don’t think she has it in her to actually harm me_ , Cheryl had said, and they’d both believed it. God, how naïve had they been? 

And now Cheryl had turned up at her doorstep, scared to be at home because her mother wants to send her to boarding school to keep them apart. It dawns on Toni that it doesn’t matter that the relationship isn’t real, because the consequences are. 

Toni looks down at the sleeping girl in her arms. She could’ve lost her.

Tears spring to her eyes and Toni wipes them away harshly. Cheryl doesn’t need her to be an emotional wreck. She needs her to be strong. 

What she needs, Toni realizes, is a friend. 

Which is why they can’t do this anymore. They can’t continue the charade when it puts Cheryl in danger. It’s stupid, and it’s not fair that Cheryl’s unsafe just because she’s supposedly dating a girl, but that’s the situation they’re in. Penelope Blossom is all kinds of evil, sure, but this hatred for her own daughter is by far the worst of them. 

It’s with her mind still racing that Toni falls asleep somewhere around five in the morning. 

*****

The alarm on her phone wakes her what feels like seconds later.

Blinking tiredly, Toni becomes more aware of her surroundings, and the previous night’s revelations come flooding back to her. Cheryl groans from somewhere near Toni’s collarbone, and she burrows her face into Toni’s neck. 

Sucking in a breath, Toni nudges her. “Come on,” she says, voice scratchy. 

“Five more minutes,” Cheryl mumbles into her skin, and Toni can’t say no to her. 

They end up going to school, continuing on like everything’s normal, and Cheryl seems to be doing a lot better than she had been the previous day. She chats with Sweet Pea and Fangs, who have warmed up to her considerably over the past few weeks, while Toni once again gets lost in her own thoughts. It takes Sweet Pea bending down and snapping his fingers in front of Toni’s face to bring her out of her reverie. 

“Yo, Tiny,” he says. “Where’d you go?" 

“Sorry,” Toni says, ridding her brain of the fog. “Was miles away.” 

“If you guys want some alone time, just say the word,” Fangs laughs, and Toni realizes that she’d been staring at Cheryl when she’d zoned out. 

Cheryl looks at her in concern, and Toni gulps. They need to talk. 

“Actually, could I borrow you for a minute?” She asks, and Cheryl nods silently, offering her hand to Toni. 

Ignoring the jibes from Sweet Pea and Fangs, Toni leads Cheryl to the bathroom. She notes absently that it’s the same bathroom where she’d had her first full conversation with Cheryl. 

Cheryl turns to face Toni, worry written all over her face as she drops her hand. 

“What’s wrong?”

“We can’t do this anymore, Cheryl,” Toni comes right out and says it. 

Cheryl frowns. “Do what?” 

“Fake date,” Toni says. “It’s not safe for you.” 

“We can’t do this anymore, or _you_ can’t do this anymore?” Cheryl asks, and Toni can’t help but feel she’s deflecting, walls coming back up. “I know yesterday was a setback, but I’m so close to cracking her.” 

“A _setback_? Cheryl, listen to yourself,” Toni can’t believe what she’s hearing. “Your mom wants to send you away to boarding school, and that’s assuming she’s even telling the truth. This isn’t me getting cold feet, or abandoning you, or whatever. This is me not wanting you to get hurt over some stupid fake relationship!” 

Cheryl folds her arms defensively. “Is this because I kissed you last night?” 

“What?” Toni’s completely taken aback. “I didn’t think you remembered that. You were half asleep.” 

Cheryl laughs bitterly. “Maybe, but I was still fully in control of my faculties.” 

“This isn’t the point,” Toni tries again, because as much as she wants to talk about that kiss, she can’t right now. 

“No, the point is that I clearly freaked you out last night,” Cheryl says, clenching her jaw and averting her eyes from Toni’s. “I’m sorry.”

“Cheryl, I don’t want you to be—”

“Whatever,” Cheryl barrels over her. “You wanted a breakup, Toni? You’ve got it.” 

“Cheryl—” Toni says, but Cheryl brushes past her, head bowed, and once again, Toni’s left alone in the bathroom wondering what the hell just happened.

*****

After staring at her reflection and telling herself what an idiot she is for a solid ten minutes, Toni finally leaves the bathroom.

Looking back, she knows she’d explained her feelings badly. Or, not at all. 

It’s not like it would’ve been the perfect opportunity to confess just how much she likes Cheryl, and that she doesn’t want to fake date her because she wants it to be real so badly, but she should’ve said something – anything –  before Cheryl had stormed out. 

Occasionally, Cheryl’s flair for the dramatic can be more of a hindrance than anything else. 

Sighing, Toni steps out into the hallway, conscious that class has begun and she’s now missing it. But she’s too distracted to even consider going. She needs to find Cheryl and explain herself, even if it does end in rejection.

However, an ever-growing part of Toni thinks that maybe it won’t. Cheryl alternates between wearing her heart on her sleeve and keeping her cards close to her chest with dizzying speed, but she may have just given her hand away.

She’d definitely meant to kiss Toni; it hadn’t simply been the reflex of a tired and emotional girl. Cheryl had been worried about making Toni uncomfortable with her affection, and it hadn’t been the first time that was the case.

If Toni had been less distracted by their argument, she would’ve been rethinking what Veronica had said to her the previous day, about her feelings not being as one-sided as she’d initially feared.

But for now, she need to find Cheryl and talk it through.

*****

Tracking Cheryl down, as it turns out, is proving to be a lot more difficult than Toni had anticipated.

She’s looking for her half the day. Cheryl isn’t in the classes she should be, and she’s not in any of the bathrooms, janitor’s closets, or the locker rooms. She’s not by the bleachers, she’s not in the auditorium, and she’s definitely not by Toni’s motorcycle. And since her phone is broken, Toni can’t exactly try calling her, either. 

Something isn’t right. 

When Cheryl is upset, the whole school tends to know about it. But when Toni asks around, nobody seems to know what she’s talking about. Toni is starting to entertain the thought that she’d imagined the whole argument, but then Jughead (ever the observer) mentions something that makes Toni’s blood run cold. 

“Yeah, I think I saw Cheryl with her mother just before first period,” he says casually. 

“Where did they go?” Toni asks immediately, and Jughead looks taken aback by her tone. “Jughead, this is important.” 

“Towards the parking lot, I think,” Jughead says, and he’s barely finished his sentence before Toni is storming off towards her motorcycle. 

There’s always a chance that Penelope had come to apologize, and she and Cheryl had made up, but Toni knows it’s wishful thinking. No, the far more likely option is that something bad is happening. 

Something bad is probably happening to Cheryl, and Toni had spent ten minutes shit-talking her own damn reflection.

Toni thinks she breaks every speeding law known to mankind on her way over to Thistlehouse. She’d spent far too long searching for Cheryl without even considering Penelope Blossom entering the fray. She knocks on the front door and fidgets nervously.

Eventually, the door cracks open, and Toni’s blood boils upon being confronted by a somewhat smug-looking Penelope. 

“Mrs Blossom, hi. I’m looking for Cheryl,” she starts. “She might’ve left school today with you, and I really need to talk to her.” 

“No, she’s gone,” Penelope says, and Toni’s heart stops. “Boarding school in Switzerland. All girls. Claudius took her to the airport.” 

Toni scoffs. “Mrs Blossom, that doesn’t make any sense.”

Penelope looks her dead in the eyes. “Don’t come here again.” 

Toni barely has enough time to look offended before the heavy wooden door is slamming in her face. She pauses for a second, mulling it over in her head. Mrs Blossom is definitely bullshitting her. 

She just doesn’t know what the truth is. 

*****

When Toni gets a call from Nana Rose, it changes everything. 

It’s three days later and Toni is going out of her mind with worry. If Cheryl truly was at boarding school, she would’ve bought herself a new phone, and she’d be active on social media. Cheryl’s always active on social media. 

But now Cheryl is radio silent, and it doesn’t sit well. Toni doesn’t want to assume the worst, but she can’t control her nightmares. 

So when Nana Rose calls her and says that Cheryl’s nearby, Toni’s first thought is one of utter relief. 

Her second thought is the need to find out where exactly she is. But the line gets disconnected before Nana Rose can say much, and Toni’s left with ‘she’s with the sisters’ as her only lead. She’s been wracking her brain, and there’s something at the far corner of her mind, but she can’t seem to reach it. So she goes to Veronica, wanting to get a second opinion. 

“The sisters?” Veronica looks confused. “What sisters?” 

“I don’t know,” Toni admits. “Maybe there’s a re-education camp called ‘The Sisters’?” 

She doesn’t know much, but her best bet is that Penelope Blossom has likely sent her daughter to gay conversion therapy, because it’s the most heinous thing Toni can think of – so it’s probably true. The trouble is she can’t find any re-education camps with the name of ‘The Sisters’ in the country, so it’s probably an off the books operation.

Something like recognition flickers across Veronica’s face. “Well, there’s the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, but that’s more like an orphanage. I don’t think they do gay conversion there.”

The Sisters of Quiet Mercy. Toni’s briefly heard whispers about that place, and from the sounds of it, it’s not a nice place. She hasn’t heard anyone mention anything about conversion therapy there, but it’s more than she had a few minutes ago. 

“Well who would know for sure?” She questions.

Veronica appears to have a lightbulb moment. “Oh my God, of course…” 

*****

“Yes, it absolutely could be the Sisters of Quiet Mercy,” Kevin tells them five minutes of tracking him down later. “It’s one of the few places in the country that still does conversion therapy. Off the books, of course.” 

Veronica looks faintly sick. 

“What the hell decade is this?” Toni’s disgusted, but her need to find Cheryl outweighs her horror right now. 

“During prohibition, the sisters ran a distillery in the basement,” Kevin tells them, and Toni has no idea how he knows this. “They used to smuggle booze out to Sweetwater River via a tunnel that still exists today.” 

“Wait, a tunnel we could use to get to Cheryl?” Veronica’s already forming a plan, and Toni thinks it’s the same plan she’s thinking of. 

“Potentially,” Kevin says. “Gay boys in the program use it to sneak out, to hook up with perfectly nice young men like myself in Fox Forest.” 

Ah. That’s how Kevin knows. 

“Wait, Kevin, can you lead us to this secret gay hookup tunnel?” Veronica asks, and she’s definitely on the same page as Toni. 

“I can probably find it,” Kevin confirms. “But we should go at night.” 

“Fine,” Toni doesn’t want to leave Cheryl in that awful place a second longer than she has to, but she knows darkness will give them better cover to break in. “Tonight.” 

Tonight, they get Cheryl back. 

*****

Veronica’s catsuit is ridiculous.

But it’s not like Toni can judge. Besides, they are pulling off a super secret spy mission after all, and Veronica probably watches too many movies. At least she’s brought a flashlight. Toni has one too, and a crowbar. Just in case. 

The actual breaking in process is much easier than Toni had anticipated, and they leave Kevin to guard the door. Toni feels bad leaving him by himself, but keeping track of three people plus Cheryl and making sure they all get out is probably a bit too much. Besides, Kevin might need to call his dad for backup.

The tunnels are damp and cavernous and they don’t smell very nice, but it’s the last of Toni’s worries as she and Veronica track their path through the maze. Half of their navigation comes from what Kevin had been told from some of the guys he’d hooked up with, and the other half is following their gut instinct. For the most part there aren’t any forks, and they stick to what appears to be the main tunnel into the building.

“And when we get to the main building, what happens then?” Veronica takes a pause as they get closer, flashlights throwing beams of light onto the puddles they stand in. 

“We search each and every damn room until we find her,” Toni says, steel lacing her voice. There’s a clear mission here, and Toni refuses to leave until they fulfil it. 

Veronica nods, and they continue on, climbing up some stone steps and carefully emerging into a hallway. They check for nuns, and then make their way down the corridor, looking through doors and finding nothing. This is taking too long, Toni thinks, as they come to a junction. 

“Okay, let’s split up,” Toni tells Veronica, very conscious of the amount of time they’ve already spent looking. “We’ll cover twice the ground.” 

“Okay, but be careful,” Veronica agrees, and Toni nods at her. 

They go their separate ways, and Toni finds herself almost breaking into a run as she makes her way further into the building holding Cheryl captive. 

More minutes pass, and Toni feels like she’s losing her mind. Cheryl isn’t in any of the bedrooms, and she wracks her brain as to where she could be. Since the bedrooms are mostly empty, it would make sense that there’s some sort of group therapy happening. Toni just doesn’t know where. 

“Cheryl!” 

Toni knows she should be quiet, but she’s starting to lose faith. In her desperation, she pays no attention to the volume of her calls, and carries on shouting Cheryl’s name in the hopes that she might somehow hear her. She spots a door with a cross-shaped window in it, and makes a beeline for it. She can see light filtering through the glass. Right now, it’s her best bet. 

“Cheryl!” Toni shoulders the door open, skidding to a halt as she’s suddenly blinded by light from an old-fashioned projector. She can tell there’s people in the room, lots of them. “Are you in here?”

Near the back, a lone figure stands. 

“Toni?” 

Toni can’t see her properly, but she would recognize Cheryl’s voice anywhere. Relief floods through her. 

“We came to rescue you,” she says. 

“You did?” 

Toni hates that she can hear doubt and surprise in Cheryl’s voice, like she wasn’t expecting anyone to save her. Like she wasn’t expecting _Toni_ to save her. She’d probably thought that after their argument in the bathroom that she was alone.

But Toni doesn’t care. Yes, they’d fought, and Cheryl’s walls had come back up in a flash, but she knows if she can just explain… 

Because if she’s realized anything over the past few days, it’s that she needs to be honest about her feelings. The future is uncertain, and Toni wants to kick herself because it took Cheryl disappearing for her to realize this. 

But none of that matters anymore because Cheryl is half-walking, half-running towards her, and she’s dressed in a weird uniform and pumps, face devoid of make-up and with her hair hanging limply in a low ponytail, and it’s the most beautiful thing Toni’s ever seen because she’s _there_ , she’s alive, and Toni’s going to get her out of here.

She opens her arms and Cheryl falls into them, and she’s solid and _real_ ; this is real. She’s shaking from the chill in the room, and she smells different but she’s still one hundred percent Cheryl. They didn’t get to her with their hate. 

Toni clings on for dear life, not wanting to let go, but they do. Not completely, though; they pull back from the hug and then Toni’s just staring at Cheryl. Her eyes flicker around Cheryl’s face, and she never wants to deny her feelings for her ever again. Cheryl looks at her in wonder, and this time Toni knows she isn’t imagining Cheryl’s eyes dropping to her lips. 

Adrenaline buzzing, but with the clearest head she’s had in weeks, Toni cups Cheryl’s face in her hands as she leans in and kisses her. It kind of takes her breath away, this kiss, and even though Toni’s vaguely aware that they’re in a room full of people, it might well have just been the two of them. They part, and come together again, and she’s addicted. 

Toni knows in this moment that she never wants to stop kissing Cheryl. 

“Cheryl. Toni.” 

Veronica’s voice pulls Toni back into the real world, and she breaks the kiss in surprise, looking over her shoulder to see Veronica in the doorway. Toni wonders how long she’s been standing there. 

“There are a bunch of nuns coming, we have to go,” Veronica says, and Toni remembers they’re practically in a convent. “Come on.” 

*****

The escape is tense.

Those creepy damn nuns keep advancing on them wherever they turn, until they can find the steps they used to emerge from the tunnel. They hurry along, and Toni is cursing their decision to wear heels in her head, because it’s slowing them down a fair bit.

Cheryl doesn’t let go of her hand.

She only drops it when they’re outside and Toni is spinning around to barricade the door with the crowbar she’s brought, and then the four of them are running again, Cheryl holding out her hand once more for Toni to grab. 

*****

Toni takes Cheryl back to her trailer, because there’s no way in hell they’re going anywhere near Thistlehouse, and Kevin and Veronica both live closer to it on the Northside. Besides, Cheryl doesn’t seem to want to leave Toni’s side, which Toni is more than okay with. She doesn’t want to lose Cheryl either. Not again. 

Toni brings her the same pyjamas as she’d worn the last time she’d stayed over, and it all feels very familiar when they slip under the covers together, Cheryl curled up in Toni’s arms. Toni keeps a gentle conversation going, trying to relax Cheryl with her voice, but she has no idea if it’s actually working. 

“Thank you for rescuing me,” Cheryl whispers, during a pause in Toni’s ramblings.

“I would have died before I let you stay in that place,” Toni says. She spares a thought for the other kids in the program, and knows Kevin is already thinking of the best way to get his dad to shut the place down. 

“I kept imagining you there with me,” Cheryl admits. “It sounds crazy, but it’s actually the one thing that kept me sane.” 

Toni pulls her closer, and Cheryl tucks her head beneath Toni’s chin, her breath tickling the skin of Toni’s neck. It makes Toni brave. 

“Cheryl?”

Cheryl hums in acknowledgement. 

“I have to tell you something,” she says. Cheryl looks up at her in concern, and Toni hastens to clarify herself. God knows there’s been too much poor communication between them recently. “It’s nothing bad.” 

“Good,” Cheryl smiles wryly. 

“I still don’t want to fake date you.” 

“I thought you said it wasn’t bad,” Cheryl’s face twists into a confused frown. “And you’ve already made yourself clear. I get it – I went too far to get back at my mother and it landed me in conversion therapy.”

“Cheryl, stop. I’m explaining this all wrong,” Toni says. “And none of what’s happened is your fault. It’s your mother that put you in conversion therapy, because she’s a homophobic old tramp of a woman who can’t accept the beauty of who you are.” 

Cheryl’s just looking at her in quiet amazement, and Toni figures she may as well continue on. 

“And I don’t want to _fake_ date you, because I want it to be real.” 

Cheryl’s brow furrows, and her eyes search Toni’s. “So you…” 

“Have feelings for you,” Toni completes her question. “Yeah, I have done for a while. And this probably isn’t the best time to admit it all, but part of the reason I agreed to this charade in the first place was because I selfishly wanted to be close to you.” 

“You’re not selfish, Toni,” Cheryl says immediately. “If you are, then I’m ten times worse.” 

“You—”

“Have feelings for you, too,” Cheryl says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and Toni wants to cry with relief. “Last time I stayed over… God, Toni, I thought I’d ruined everything." 

“You didn’t,” Toni promises, stroking Cheryl’s hair. “I thought I’d ruined everything the next day." 

“Can we agree to stop being idiots from now on?” Cheryl laughs, tears starting to form in her eyes as she looks at Toni in open adoration.

Toni kisses her.

It’s just a press of lips at first, waiting for Cheryl’s response. When she feels Cheryl kiss her back enthusiastically, Toni deepens the kiss, sighing contentedly when Cheryl’s lips part. There’s no purpose other than to kiss; neither of them are ready for anything further especially after Cheryl’s recent experiences, but Toni allows herself to get lost in the feel of Cheryl’s lips.

Toni knows that later that she’ll put the pieces of the last few weeks together; the hints that she’d been oblivious to in her own doubt. That Veronica had been right all along. That Toni would no longer have to put up with a chorus of _not real not real not real_ anymore because it wasn’t true.

Cheryl is real, her feelings are real, this kiss is real.

Cheryl’s tongue slipping into her mouth is real. Toni’s moan is real. The feeling of her heart hammering against her ribs is real. 

Their happiness is real.

Toni knows there’s a lot to sort out, both between them and regarding what to do about Penelope Blossom, but those are problems for the morning. Now, all that matters is her and Cheryl, and the fact that Toni already knows she’s falling.

But, unlike last time, she’s pretty sure that Cheryl is too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading guys, don't hesitate to leave a comment if you wish - it's how i get my validation these days after all! i also might be able to do requests cause i graduate uni soon so will have more free time :)


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